It’s okay to be scared.

Do what you fear and fear disappears.
David Joseph Schwartz

Hi, my name is Christiane, and I suffer from an anxiety disorder.

People who know me socially don’t see that very often; I am fearless about SO many things! I’m rather known for my ability to do things that are often big fears of other people: speaking/singing in public, standing out from the crowd [my hair is an example of that!], talking to anyone [celebrities, strangers, experts in any field], long road trips by myself, telling the world the things I *am* afraid of…

I took a big leap to be self-employed and do a job that I love and that allows me to be creative – surrendering my security and a regular paycheck in order to follow my dreams. That’s a HUGE fear for most people, to not have security. And I’m not gonna lie, it’s the place where my anxiety twinges a LOT, too. I had a real rollercoaster ride earlier this week with an anxiety attack that centered on the slow Summer sales. I have talked before about how it’s important to me to share my vulnerabilities – and looking at dates on this post about worrying about failure is REALLY illuminating for me… the date that I wrote it was *right* around the same time, last year. No wonder I’m anxious – this is a yearly trend.

If I hadn’t shared that publicly, I might not have caught the pattern. I might not have been able to ease my anxiety. Neat!

Embracing what I am scared of – admitting my possible failure – allowed me to see that I just need to hold on and it will pass.
Embracing the fear of trying a new[ish] craft and failing at the pattern? It made me see that I need someone to give me a face-to-face lesson or at least some tips. That’s not a terrible thing! [you can see the scratch pad from my attempt in the featured pic – I didn’t screw up my count, at least!]

Letting go of the comfortable spinning style and embracing something unstructured and unpredictable yielded the styles of yarn I love spinning the best.
Deciding that I knew enough to start teaching other people what I’ve learned led to a really satisfying teaching career that’s growing steadily and is getting me a good name. [wow!]
Heck, being scared but moving everything I own and my cat and self back to Baltimore even while I felt like a TREMENDOUS failure for leaving was the best thing I could have done for myself.
Even with the anxiety pinging in my head and chest… I did it. And I was okay – no, better than okay. I was changing my world for the better.

Do the thing you fear. Or at least consider trying it. You might be surprised!